“God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken and will He not make it good and fulfill it?”
NUMBERS 23:19 AMP
I don’t know about you, but I’m always asking the Lord to speak to me. I’m one of those people that feels the need to know exactly what’s going on, and exactly how it’s going to play out. It’s good for some things, like making plans, but definitely not waiting on the Lord.
So on my journey with the Lord so far, he’s spoken to me countless times. He’s spoken vaguely and specifically. He’s spoken through his written word, a taught or preached message, a prophesy, another person, a song, a dance, a picture, nature.. etc.. you get the point. He does a lot of talking if we actually take the time to listen. So I know that. I know that VERY well. But I am not always the best at listening when chaos has ensued and I’m so busy telling the Lord how to fix it (and to fix it fast) that he can’t get a word in. But being a patient God, He always speaks when given the opportunity. And when I am quiet and at a loss for anything else to say, I ask him to. Why? Because I am desperate for His word.
I remember waking up to my entire world falling apart a few weeks after I had Lydia. It’s been almost exactly 3 years now, and it still feels fresh. That your stomach drops, need to puke, want to scream, can’t breath, need to whale in despair feeling. I don’t think I described it accurately, but I hope you know what I’m talking about anyway. The time of my life I had been waiting for desperately for soooo long had finally arrived! I had my biggest blessing ever, and was ready to soak up every single ounce of it. But instead, there I was with the wind knocked out of me. I won’t go into detail right now, but the life I thought I had been building and was somewhat secure in over the previous six years exploded into a million tiny pieces to expose the truth behind the lie that had been my life. It took me probably 2 days to cry. I couldn’t muster any prayer other than God help me! And when the tears came, they came with a vengeance. They were my prayer that night. I sat in few inches of water in my tub (I couldn’t take a bath yet since my c-section wound was so fresh). I sat in that tub, and I wept out a prayer, of simply: What am I going to do? And as always, the Lord answered me. He acknowledged my great pain, and then spoke one thing: “Show Grace.” My answer? I can’t Lord. I just can’t.
I pursued God fervently to speak to me day after day after that night, and each time he would say “Show Grace.” It was the one thing I didn’t want him to say and the one thing I just couldn’t bring my self to do, but I knew I had to. I desperately needed something big in order to be able to though. So I dug into the word. I found comfort and advice there, but I wanted more. I kept petitioning the Lord for another word, but nothing new. So it hit me one day, what has He said? Not what did he just say, but what has he said to me in the past about this? And I remembered a Friday night in a small storefront church about 6 months prior. A man spoke a word to me from the Lord there. It hit me like a ton of bricks as the words came flooding back to my memory. It was a heads up on what was going to happen, and I understood parts of it at the time, but not enough to ever guess how things would unfold. I had prayed about it though. I had prayed long and hard, and fervently about it over all the months to follow. I had no idea, but I was praying for my self. I had no idea but the profound message he spoke to me then would be the word for what had finally happened.
He told me many things through that word, but one thing sustained me. He told me in so many words that my boat was going to sink under the waves that were about to come crashing down on me. But not to worry, and not to hang on to my boat as it sank, because I serve a God who walks on water, one who would pull me up out of those consuming waves and rescue me. That word God had given me washed over me like a warm blanket. It flooded every crevice of my soul. I wept so hard, mostly out of awe, and wonder and love for the Jesus I serve. The same God that pulled Peter out of the literal waves, was going to pull me out of the figurative waves that otherwise would consume me. I clung to that word. I mean my life depended on it. I had to live out this verse in a way I had never imagined. I had to KNOW that God wasn’t a liar. I had to KNOW that he wasn’t going to go back on his word, or take back what he said to me. I had to KNOW that he said it, and he was GOING to do it. I had to KNOW that although God wasn’t speaking anything new to me, he had ALREADY spoken a word to me for this storm and that would have to do. I had to know that the new words “Show Grace” would also come to pass as impossible as it seemed.
I clung to those previous words every second of every day. I was a new mother, recovering from major surgery, hormonal to the max. But I was GOING to enjoy my greatest blessing come Hell or High water (both of which did come.) and the only way I was going to muster up enough to get my self out of the bed each and every day and face my new reality, was to believe in the God who spoke those words to me. I had to believe like this Prophet did, without a shadow of a doubt that the word God spoke was EXACTLY what he would deliver. And let me tell you, he did. He rescued me second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, month by month, and now year by year.
He rescued me from suicide. He rescued me from hopelessness. He rescued me from full out mental breakdown. He rescued me from guilt and shame and blaming my self for things outside of my control. He rescued me from harmful thoughts and self destructive patterns and actions. He rescued me from outbursts and emotional break downs. He rescued me. I can’t tell you how much and how many times he rescued me. He still is today. He was and is and will always be the God that is spoken of in this verse. He is a God of his word.
So what are you going through? What are you waking up to the reality of each and every day that takes your breath away? What are you in such distress, turmoil and utter despair about? What waves are crashing in on you, sinking your boat and threatening to take you down with it?
Is God seemingly quiet? Has he not spoken a word to you lately? Does it seem like he’s abandoned you? Does it seem like all hope is lost? Let me tell you something, He is NOT quiet. He has ALREADY spoken a word to you whether through the Bible, a message a song , somewhere along the way he has spoken to you the EXACT word you need for this moment in time. He hasn’t abandoned you! He is right there to rescue you as many times as it takes! Hope isn’t lost! There is hope that you can believe every single thing He’s ever spoken. You need peace? He’s promised it to you. You need hope? There’s hope in Jesus. You need love? Affection? Support? Encouragement? Counsel? Comfort? A healer? A friend? A confidant? Someone to fight for you? Someone to stand with you? Someone to carry you? Someone to rescue you? Look no further. Jesus is ALL that and so much more. He is speaking to you today. He is telling you to think back on alllllll the things he’s spoken to you, about you, for you, and to KNOW and BELIEVE that he IS the God of this verse. And if that isn’t enough, He is speaking to you today, telling you to take him at his word, and know that he WILL deliver.
Whatever he’s said to you, even if it was through this devotional, He WILL come through on His word.
Thanks for joining me!